Hey! faderift might be a good fit for you. It's a small game based on the Dragon Age game series (but being canon familiar definitely isn't required—it's an older game that's spiralled pretty far and away from canon events now). From your checklist:

★ Backtag friendly, slower pace preferred ✅ We've been called the 'game for tired olds'. Most of us have RL obligations and are backtag friendly and/or enthusiasts
★ Easy AC please ✅ AC checks are every three months; provide three proofs during that time frame, but those proofs can have occurred any time during that 3 month period (again: backtag friendly)
★ Sex-friendly games are a-ok but nothing totally sex focused ✅ Sex has been known to happen in inboxes, but isn't the focus of the game
★ Genre ✅ FR focuses on a fantasy!war, so we occasionally have plots with horror or intense elements but by and large I'd describe it as a action/adventure/sol game
★ Open to AUs, SOL a maybe ✅ You can choose to either have your character arrive in the world through a Rift like a more typical jamjar, or AU them to be a character native to the setting; we have SOL elements, but there's a lot of plot you can opt into (or create!) if you want to chase that instead
★ No 100% power loss ✅ There are power nerfs to even the playing field of the player characters, but we've had a fair number of DnD types before

Other misc notes:
★ Baldur's Gate enthusiasts; I think 90% of the playerbase is chewing through the game right now lol
★ Player Characters skew older; I know this isn't a big deal for everyone, but worth noting we have a good number of characters in their 30s-50s
★ A robust collection of magic nerds/scholars-type player characters who would probably love to talk nerdy with Gale
★ Ye olde tdm