December EMP Meme

[enablemeplz]

ENABLEMEPLZ meme goes up on the Second Saturday of every month FOR GAME ADS: ➤ Put an ad up with the characters / crew / pairings / kink you want for your game under the correct game header. This meme is primarily going to be focused on DWRP games but IJ and LJ games are allowed. ➤ PLEASE NOTE A RULE CHANGE HERE. ABSOLUTELY NO obnoxious coding (no font size > size 4 or 3 "big" tags, no oversized banners (they must be 250px in height or less), no blinking text, no obnoxious table html that doesn't collapse easily, no fonts and other html that make ads super long, no sparklies, no large pictures). Use all the colors you like, but please remember 3 "big" tags is the limit and that's only for headers or title text rather than for all the text in an ad. FOR GAME QUESTIONS: ➤ RPers interested in a game can create a header for the game and ask questions about that game that aren't easy to find on faqs, such as the actual pace vs. what's listed/what kind of plots are run/if the game leans more towards plotty or slice of life/if a game leans more towards network or logs, etc. Both anon questions and anon answers are welcome in this section just like in the rest of the meme. ➤ This thread is not for speaking about wank or drama in a game. There are anoncomms that exist for that. This thread is specifically for general questions about a game that rpers want to get perspective on from players already in the game. Answers can be slightly negative (such as saying app response is slow or that the plots are repetitive or similar things) but this should at least be worded politely. Unnecessary vitriol, any mention of personal drama or wank, or mod teams/individual mods/players being singled out, will be either frozen or screened (based on what seems right based on the content). FOR CHARACTER ADS: ➤ Put up an ad about the characters you are offering. For PSL ads, there is a separate subthread but for character ads for games, post directly to the meme post. Others will comment to you with the games/casts they want you to join. ➤ There is a "Find a Castmate" section, where you can talk about a cast you play in at a game, and try to lure people to join it. Not all games post to the meme or have a "wanted" section, so players that want to tempt people to their cast on their own can use this section for it. Please format this the same as the PSL section, where you post your character's canon in your subject. For the actual text of the ad you must use the "Find a Castmate" form provided at the bottom of this post so that these ads don't get huge. When listing who's currently in a cast, please do this in sentence form (with commas) rather than in list form. ➤ There is a "Find Crosscanon" section, where you can talk about a character you play and and desired crosscanon for that character. Please make sure this is not too generalized a search, because just wanting general crosscanon can be accomplished with the other sections of the meme. This is for specific characters or character types you're looking for. In the subject, please list the "Looking for [canon you're looking for]" rather than your character's canon. If looking for a character type, list the character type in as few words as possible. Do not make the subject huge or I'll screen your comment. For the actual text of the ad you must use the "Find Crosscanon" form provided at the bottom of this post so that these ads don't get huge. This section is only for game crosscanon as in the psl section people can list their preferences. ➤ Examples of crosscanon you can search for: You play The Flash from DC Comics and your dream CR is fellow speedster Quicksilver from Marvel. Or you might play a witch and want cr with other witches in general. Or maybe you play a good character messed up by evil parents and want to play against a villain character you know has evil parents, because you know it'd lead to some interesting negative CR. ➤ There is a "Pairings You Want to Play" section, where you can ask for castmates or crosscanon you'd like to ship with. Please format this with "[YOUR CANON] seeking [CASTMATE/OTHER CANON (if crosscanon)/SEE DESCRIPTION (if a general character type)]. For the actual text of the ad you must use the "Pairings You Want to Play" form provided at the bottom of this post so that these ads don't get huge. Alongside castmates and crosscanon, you can choose to ask for OCs or general character types as well. Try not to get too wordy and please don't outline entire scenarios. ➤ ABSOLUTELY NO obnoxious coding, with the same rules as the Game Ads Section above. ➤ If you're recommending a game to someone, try to match your suggestion to their needs. It's okay if part of your game rec is copy-pasted (such as what the game's about), but at least some part of the rec must be personalized to their ad. Try not to recommend the same game to every single ad, either. Ad spam that isn't individualized in some way will also be frozen or screened. Keep in mind this needs to be more specific than "this game has easy AC like you're asking for but meets none of your other requirements." Make sure you're advertising games that might click with that specific character, where a few elements fit what they're looking for. You should be thinking about the story reasons of how the character might click with the game. IN GENERAL: ➤ Don't be a dick. This isn't one of the anoncomms, so any snide comments or unnecessary commentary on the RP plans of others will be frozen or screened. ➤ All mod responses regardless of whether they're rule breaks, correction requests (like someone posting in the wrong section), or thwapping someone for spamming copy-paste ads, have always been and will almost universally be public. If someone sends a PM and the conversation gets combative, this will also be made public and posted to the comments of the mod contact page. This is for the sake of transparency so people can judge the emp mod's communications for fairness themselves. There are times where the player's post may be screened (such as if they posted to the wrong section) but the mod's response will be left unscreened. ➤ Players may sometimes be allowed more than one strike for copy-paste ads since this is often just enthusiasm behind it, but game mods should know better. They'll get one warning for copy-paste ads, and if they spam anymore copy-paste ads after the warning, they'll be banned from the meme. ➤ The meme is for fiction-based RP only (with the only exception being involvement of fictionalized historical figures or historical settings.) Celeb or RPF RP advertising, whether for games or players, is not allowed. MOD CONTACT: If there's trouble, tell me HERE, please! RESOURCES: enablemeplz - The plurk for Enable Me Plz. Follow for monthly, replurkable EMP reminders dwrpmasterlist - A regularly updated basic list of public DWRP games. pslfinder - an alternate psl meme that runs every 2 weeks between emp memes GAME/AD LINKS: General Game/Dressing Room Ads Link - New Games - Small Games - Medium/Large Games - Museboxes/Memes/Dressing Rooms/Misc. - Game Questions - Game Start Discussions/Questions PSL Offerings Find a Castmate Find Crosscanon Pairings You Want to Play Latest Page Textboxes

PSL Ads (Optional): <b>[Offering]:</b> <B>[Looking For]:</b> (Alongside specific characters, feel free to note if you want general character types or tropes). <b>[preferences]:</b>	Character Ads (Optional): <b>[character offered]:</b> <B>[fandom]:</b> <B>[rp you're offering for / rp type you'd wanna play in]:</b> <b>[preferences]:</b>
Find a Castmate (Required): <b>[game]:</b> <B>[fandom]:</b> <B>[game's current cast]:</b> (Please list this in sentence form with commas. Ex: "Bucky, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Thor.") <b>[who I play]:</b> (Who you play in the game you're advertising for) <b>[wanted]:</b> (Who you'd like to see) <b>[game info]:</b> (You can list some info about the game or what's been going on for the cast you're trying to lure people into).	Find Crosscanon (Required): <b>[game]:</b> <b>[who I play]:</b> Character / Fandom (Who you play in the game you're advertising for) <b>[wanted]:</b> Character / Fandom (if it's a specific character. You may list more than one character if you have a few specific ones in mind character types you'd like to see.) <b>[why]:</b> (Maybe explain the dynamics you're interested in and how you think the characters would mesh interestingly. Explain what they have in common or how they might clash if you're looking for something more negative.) <b>[game info]:</b> (You can list some info about the game itself and why it'd be a good place to app to).
Pairings you want to play (Required): <b>[Where]:</b> State a game name or note "psl" <b>[who I play]:</b> Character / Fandom <b>[wanted]:</b> Character / Fandom | OC | or talk about a general character type <b>[why]:</b> (Here is where you can talk about their dynamic as castmates. If crosscanon, maybe explain the dynamics you're interested in and how you think the characters would mesh interestingly.) <b>[game/psl info]:</b> (If you have a set game or psl setting, you can provide some info about it. Or note you're open to something new.)

➤ Important note: IP logging has turned on due to multiple instances past and present of problem players trying to return to the dwrp community via emp after being banned other places, so I'll be IP logging from now on, and will compare notes with the rpa and wg mods (as well as game mods) where appropriate if it seems like someone that has been mass banned. I will not pay attention to IPs otherwise. I don't care what people like playing or who's who. So please feel comfortable to keep doing your thing, anon or otherwise. The knowledge will only be used for really egregious problem cases.

Comments

GAME/DRESSING ROOM ADS

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NEW GAMES

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Comment here if your game is new, less than three months old, or reopening.

SMALL GAMES

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This means less than 30 players, or less than 60 characters.

MEDIUM/LARGE Games

[enablemeplz]

This means 30+ players or more than 60 characters.

MUSEBOXES/MEMES/DRESSING ROOMS/MISC

[enablemeplz]

For places with semi-organized RP that aren't formal games and aren't PSLs.

For memes, please don't link memecomms or crosslink memes that are posted to dedicated memecomms (ex. bakerstreet or fortanon), as players can find these memes by simply following these comms. Please only advertise for memes if they are open to other RPers but posted in an out-of-the-way place like your individual journal or musebox.

GAME QUESTIONS

[enablemeplz]

Players interested in a game can post a header for the game and ask questions that players in that game can respond to. Please see the instructions/rules for this section in the post above.

You can also use this space to ask general game questions like "What games accept CRAUS?" or "What games have a fast pace and aren't SOL?

GAME START DISCUSSIONS/QUESTIONS

[enablemeplz]

Want to do an interest check to see if people would be interested in a game idea you want to run? Looking for comods to help you start a game? Or do you have questions about possible game mechanics?

Ask questions regarding starting a new game here. Please put the topic of your post (i.e. "looking for comods," or "interest check for a steampunk sci fi game") in the subject of your comment.

PSL OFFERINGS

[enablemeplz]

This doesn't have to be 1 on 1 in case you'd like handful of people for a psl.

Put your canons in the subject, offered characters, and what you're looking for underneath.

There is an optional html in a textbox in the post above.

metaphor, fe3h

[royalist]

offering.

▮ will; metaphor refantazio; royalist
▮ byleth; fire emblem: three houses (or hopes); bladehand

preferences.

FOR WILL
Looking for castmates for either gen or shipping! I'm completely open to writing gen against anyone from Metaphor: ReFantazio. I'd love to play out scenarios of all sorts: scenes set during the course of the game, scenes that happen post-game, fix-it canon divergent scenarios where nobody dies, modern-day AU shenanigans, etc. I'm very into fluff, domestic slice-of-life, and hurt/comfort, but I'm equally fond of political drama, writing background NPCs, and complicated plots.

As far as ships go, I really only ship Will with Strohl and Louis. I'm pretty open to Basilio or Alonzo too if you want to make the boys kiss, but by default, I'll keep Will's other relationships platonic or intensely intimate without actually becoming romantic unless you specifically tell me that you'd like romantic content with Will.

I also have a scenario wishlist on my journal if that might help, but I think most of the scenarios on it were written for Louis and Strohl specifically. Feel free to reach out if you want me to think up some fresh ideas for your character!


FOR BYLETH
Again, looking for castmates for gen or shipping (mostly gen)! I would really love some gen PSLs and meme threads? I know that might seem a bit vague when most people tend to feel that PSLs are best with some romantic backbone, but I think the narrative of FE3H is complex enough that we can figure out things we'd like to write together with a little plotting! It's a huge game and we have a lot of backdrops we could use for threads: the academy phase, the war phase, post-game adventures, etc. I strongly prefer playing from the Azure Moon route and would particularly like Blue Lions students or Church of Seiros characters for this, but honestly, if you have some other FE3H blorbo you've just never been able to exercise, I will take them too. My arms are open! I also do not mind writing out background ships, so if you really want to write, like, Sylvix or something, Byleth can be There For That. Also, I am familiar with Three Hopes and would be happy to write Byleth in the Three Hopes setting if you prefer that for any reason. It kinda resets his development, but I think he's cute in his early game phase anyway.

As far as ships go, I am only looking for Dimitri! My dream would be to have a super long PSL or series of threads that fleshes out the Dimitri/Byleth relationship through the academy phase all the way through to the end of the game, but we can skip around to the parts that you find juicy, too. Smut is on the table for this and I'm easy so I'd be happy to have them hook up whenever you want, pre-timeskip or post-timeskip. I am fully prepared to slowburn all the way until the end of the game because I love sad gay popes.

I also have a scenario wishlist on my journal if that might help, but it's still a work in progress and I don't have much on it. Feel free to reach out if you want me to think up some fresh ideas for your character!

...Oh, and one last thing! I'm also down to play off other Byleths, especially F!Byleth, but I will make twin shenanigans work with another M!Byleth too!

other.

▮ Slow tags are fine! While I can turn tags around in a day or two sometimes, you can more often expect me to take anywhere between 1-2 weeks for a tag. I'm always happy to chat about our threads and fandom stuff if you want an open line of communication.

▮ I prefer brackets, but prose is not a dealbreaker. I also prefer writing longer, meatier tags, but I can match shorter tags. It just sucks to keep you waiting a week for a short tag, but I can't boomerang most of the time unless it's just texting.

▮ Feel free to reply here or PM me!

FIND A CASTMATE

[enablemeplz]

Please see the instructions on this section in the post above.

HONKAI SERIES @ SEASONS

[starwill]

[game]: seasonsrpg
[fandom]: Honkai series - especially Honkai: Star Rail and Honkai Impact 3rd, but we wouldn't say no to any Houkai Gakuen 2/Gun Girls Z cast
[game's current cast]: Aglaea, Aventurine, Boothill, Castorice, Firefly, Mydeimos, Phainon, Stelle, Sunday, Tribbie
[who I play]: Stelle!
[wanted]: ANYONE. But we'd especially love anyone from the Astral Express, other Chrysos Heirs, especially Cipher, Anaxa, Cerydra and Hysilens; Dr. Ratio, Topaz, Robin, or any of the other Stellaron Hunters! Cyrene would also absolutely be loved.

There's also currently a Yingxing on the current TDM.

I'd also especially love to see the Flamechasers from Honkai Impact 3rd as they have quite a few things in common with the Chrysos Heirs.
[game info]:

Seasons is an invite-only, sex-friendly, urban fantasy game (with check in bimonthly AC!) - although if you're interested, please feel free to reach out, I'm happy to give an invite! - where characters get thrown into another world as a "season holder", someone who is given abilities based on on of the four seasons and is tasked to help the world from the encroaching Darkness.

Characters deal with living in the world and handling both smaller quests and bigger expeditions. Events happen bi-monthly with new quests showing up on non-event months.

As a heads up: players can immediately apply from a 3.7 canon point just as long as you warn others for spoilers in tags as appropriate!

Stelle also owns a pawn shop/night bar with a restaurant as well that people can come over to work at or hang out and will be ICly hosting a Christmas party there! OOCly, the post is set to go up on the 15th.

If anyone needs icons or has any questions, feel free to reach out; we'd be absolutely willing to help! We also do have a cast discord for those who would be interested in that, too. You can find our navigation page here and our latest TDM here.

FIND CROSSCANON

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Please see the instructions on this section in the post above.

PAIRINGS YOU WANT TO PLAY

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Please see the instructions on this section in the post above.

genshin impact: ororon & ifa

[batlan]

[Where]: PSL, memes (unless?)
[who I play]: Ororon
[wanted]: Ifa - and we can share custody of Cacucu if you want
[why]: yes yes I know no one else liked Natlan but I just think they're soooooo cute, and now they've finished the war these bros deserve to live in holy matrihomie
[game/psl info]: PSL or just some memes, whether they're already in an "official" relationship or still have yet to establish one, just lmk what kind of dynamic floats your boat for starting out. I think it would be fun to dig into Ifa's neuroses about losing his family and needing to be needed (voluntary co-dependence 💯), Ororon just being comfortably himself around Ifa and his blossoming gremlin tendencies as he's feeling stronger and healthier and happier, them making up for the time they lost during the war, domesticity and tribal culture clashes, Ororon confusing and exasperating Ifa but like affectionately, reminiscing about childhood, and the juicy implications of Ororon's incomplete soul on his lifespan along with Ifa's complicated feelings about the inevitability of saying goodbye... :')

Elden Ring

[agentlerplace]

[character offered]: Miquella
[fandom]: Elden Ring
[looking for]: Honestly, just about anything as long as it seems interesting enough. Honestly pre-ascension Miquella with Trina would be a lot of fun if the game allows it, but so would post-ascension and I'm indecisive. Castmates appreciated, but not necessary.
[other]: I am in Somnia already! Also always down for PSLs, canon or cross-canon.

[saythething]

Offering ~


Neptune | Hyperdimension Neptunia
Johnny Storm | MCU *




Looking for

* Still voice testing
- Medium paced, backtag friendly
- Already in Folkmore and Iyashikei
- Castmates are a plus but not needed
- Overarching plot / interesting setting
- Medium paced, no check in AC
- No sex games or forced au/memory games
- Not interested in monster transformation or horror right now
- Open to PSLs !

[moes]

❖ OFFERING.

himeko inaba / kokoro connect
yuki izumi / heaven burns red

❖ PREFERENCES.

★ Dreamwidth only.
★ Medium pacing preferred but am totally fine with slower pacing given my work schedule.
★ Games that can help obscure or lone canon warriors thrive, as both of these are definitely lesser well known.
★ Preference for plot focused games for these two over complete SOL. Psychological horror games are fine, but I'd prefer no transformation horror games. No AU games for either of these two, either.
★ Preference for no cast caps, especially as I plan to app Yuki with a Ruka if I find a game that works well for the both of us.
★ I'd very much prefer for Yuki to be able to have access to her mePad and Seraph.
★ No copy pasted ads, please.

Supernatural

[nomoreleftshoe]

[character offered]: Sam Winchester
[fandom]: Supernatural
[rp you're offering for / rp type you'd wanna play in]: Would prefer a PSL but a game is fine too!
[preferences]: I am looking specifically for a Dean. I prefer to play Sam from either S2 or S7, but can play anywhere in between. Looking for some brotherly adventures with some over-arching plot. For S2, I would love to play with the idea that Sam was brought back wrong and is not quite human. For S7, Sam fighting against the hallucinations and not being angel-cured by Castiel. I'm also open to any other ideas but those are my main ones!

RPG Villains

[choirmaster]

Tentative offers:

[character offered]:
Fandaniel | Final Fantasy XIV
Vholran Igniseri | Tales of Arise
Sephiroth | Final Fantasy VII
Sunday | Honkai: Star Rail
Yuber | Suikoden
Sasarai | Suikoden

I also have other characters I'd consider for the right sort of game. My Suikodens are always ready to go because that's my brand, but they do best in games that feature a war or major faction conflict.

Sunday is already in a game, so I am more looking for possible homes for others, especially Fandaniel, but I would consider a second home for Sunny if the game is a good fit.

[rp you're offering for / rp type you'd wanna play in]: Game. DW only. Preferably, a game where villains can scheme and engage with the setting. Building up to big dumb player plots and losing is honestly my jam. I would fully expect that to be a slow burn, though.

I also tend to prefer more intense settings that can challenge characters, vs lighter, more comedic games, but a mix is fine.

For Sephiroth in particular, I guess it's worth mentioning I play him from the original game, which means he still has his memories and isn't obsessed with Cloud. I'd still play with a Cloud! But maybe he'd be a good matchup for a Cloud who wants the tension of a Sephiroth but would also like to be left alone sometimes.

[preferences]:

✔ medium or fast paced
✔ back-tag friendly
✔ plot focused
✔ horror
✔ exploration
✔ fantasy
✔ urban fantasy

→ would prefer no power nerfing but I can go with nerfed powers if a game has most other things.

✘ pure slice-of-life
✘ memory loss
✘ forced permanent transformation mechanics
✘ smut games
✘ AU

atlus games

[eldanring]

↪ CHARACTERS

will ♕ metaphor: refantazio ♕ eldanring
nahobino ◉ shin megami tensei v: vengenace ◉ miraclewater

↪PREFERENCES

✔ medium-slow paced
✔ not too intensive ac preferred
✔ any setting/theme. smut or horror fine
✔ plot or slice-of-life; so long as there's interesting things happening but i don't feel left behind if i'm not super fast
✔ castmates loved but not needed

✘ memory loss / au
✘ for nahobino: complete power nerfs

↪PREFERENCES

Games that are open & friendly to trans hcs are a major plus

[studyandprotect]

[character offered]:
Helen Magnus - Sanctuary
Gamora - MCU
Triss - Witcher (Netflix)
The Disreputable Dog - Old Kingdom

[preferences]:
No memory loss, otherwise I'm good!

[wirewalking]

[character offered]: kiperina
[fandom]: reverse 1999
[rp you're offering for / rp type you'd wanna play in]: game recs or tdms to voice test in !

[preferences]:
➜ Dreamwidth-based
➜ Slow/Medium pace, Backtag friendly
➜ Suitable for kid/teen characters (Kiperina is 15)
➜ No smut/sex
➜ Setting: Don't really vibe with heavy sci-fi settings, premises with complicated mechanics, or intense horror, but I'll happily consider any recs
➜ Okay with plot-focused and/or SOL games
➜ Super okay with found family themes, and games with opportunities for platonic CR development !

[michrure]

offering:
★ Midoriya Izuku | My Hero Academia | fullgauntlet
★ Venti | Genshin Impact | concierto
★ Cheng Xiaoshi | Link Click | diveintime *
★ Ivan | Alien Stage | cureblacksorrow *
★ Squall Leonhart | Final Fantasy VIII | shear_trigger or gunbreaker
* = voicetesting

★ Dreamwidth only.
★ Preferably without powerloss but can be workable or can be regained.
★ Slow to medium pace, without a big heavy plot. Not completely plotless or slice-of-life but nothing that makes me read a lot of background information.
★ Focused on setting, character developments and character relationships.
★ Easy AC, 15-comments or less per month. Preferably with no comment point counting, but I can deal with it if that’s the only option!
★ Would love anything Dark Fantasy, Space, Horror, Cozy, Shipping-Focused or Slice-of-Life.

[3wingedangel]

[character offered]: Sephiroth
[fandom]: Kingdom Hearts
[rp you're offering for / rp type you'd wanna play in]: Game or PSL. Preferably DW-based. Slice-of-life or plot-heavy or a mix are all okay.

Would have to be a game that's okay with headcanons, as KH Sephiroth is a very mysterious character and canon itself seems to contradict itself about who or what he is. I have very passionate headcanons to connect the dots and make things make sense and I refuse to play him differently from how I see him.
[preferences]:

No transformations. This is a dealbreaker. I absolutely do not want him to lose his wings.

Don't want a "character is dead" premise.

Don't really care for forced amnesia or AUs.

No sex-based games.

I'd prefer if there wasn't complete power nerfing, but I could possibly deal with it if I liked the game's premise enough.

Castmates are unlikely, but so longed-for, especially Cloud or Sora. Or Zack, if a Zack player would be cool with Seph having trained Zack after Birth By Sleep (instead of having hurt him after taking him away, like some people think). Of course, if a Zack player has strong headcanons against that having happened, Seph can be from a different dimension than Zack, lol. I wouldn't want to encroach on someone else's headcanons!

Am already familiar with Iyashikei.

gary de'snake | zootopia 2

[melplayspersonal]

[character offered]: Gary De'Snake
[fandom]: Zootopia 2
[rp you're offering for / rp type you'd wanna play in]: tdms, maybe memes?

okay so I finally saw the movie and fell in love with the world's most moe snake. I haven't made an account yet (so if anyone knows a place with gary icons, LMK!) so right now I'm just seeing if there's any interest for the guy!

[threadsbare]

Hi there!!! I also fell in love with Gary. I do not have any Zootopia muses but I would be happy to toss any from my muse list at him. I would just love to see one around!

[infernaling]

[character offered]: Ea Lowkey (what you'd call a Tav storyline)
[fandom]: Baldur's Gate 3
[rp you're offering for / rp type you'd wanna play in]: I have a PSL-specific offer here, but I'm tentatively and somewhat shyly looking at what games are out there that are open for silent protags; Ea has a DnD!OC version from way back when, so that's also a possibility
[preferences]:
- jamjars, mission/quest based is a bonus
- allows for cr (realistically this means some slice of life scenes are gonna happen - as slice of life as it gets with brainworms)
- sex-based would be fine, but not a requirement
- no memloss, and preferably minimal horror

[liveframe]

Offering:
Rafa | liveframe | Borderlands
Patricia Tannis | sirentologist | Borderlands
Cole | fadeling | Dragon Age
Domino | notverycinematic | XMCU
Selenay | herarrows | Heralds of Valdemar
Starwind k'Treva | adaptable | Heralds of Valdemar


[preferences]:

• I am actively looking for a game, but I am good with memes/PSLs also
  
• Slow-to-medium pace preferred
  
• No sex games, but I am okay doing smut (not with Cole)
  
• Prefer no power loss/memory loss
  
• LCW/obscure friendly
  
• I am bad at quest-based/exploration games, but I might give another one a try if there's a good sales pitch
  
• If a game is invite only, you will need to have a way to get me one, or I am not interested. (could be personal invites or mod invites). I have been out of serious DWRP long enough that I've lost all my contacts and am not well-connected enough anymore to get invites on my own